The First Day
Every game must have programmable entities that resemble living creatures. The extent of their programmability isn’t too extreme. You just have to define what they can and they cannot do. You must come up with the equivalent of the ten commandments for the universe you create so to speak, because every universe deserves to have a God or a Goddess. And every God or Goddess must have a universe to play with and creatures to torment. That’s the nature of things.
No matter what kind of games you prefer to play, it always becomes boring at some point granted that you’re an accomplished player with a fully functional brain. As a result, I quit playing games long ago. If I choose to waste my time with one, that’s only because of my desire to see how natural breasts jiggled in that one. After a minute or so it becomes boring again.
Yet I cannot move away from the console. I just can’t find a hobby that’ll keep me occupied, live my life, help me mingle, you know, with real people in a face-to-face situation. Whatever people are passionate about doesn’t turn me on. Whatever I’m passionate about, well, I’m not really passionate about anything. Hours become days, days become weeks, weeks become months and you get closer to your grave with nothing to show for. Still, it was my dying interest in games that showed me the way out and it happened not on the monitor, but in front of it.
I had to work overtime again, because some jerk managed me into futile attempts to finish a set of vague requirements leading to nowhere. As usual, I put them together the way I wanted and made up a bunch of business rules, because let’s face it, I had to go home and eat and fuck and sleep. Just before I disappeared into the dark of the night, a couple of guys came by and to my surprise, Jannicke, that Norwegian überfrau asked me to play a shooter with them in a one more for the road fashion. Fuck me dead, I said “Yes”. I’m human after all. I can always play and fuck… and go home and eat and sleep.
Do you know Jannicke, that night you solved all my problems? We just went ahead and played deathmatch because we were burned out. Nobody cared about teams or flags at that godforsaken time of the night. Having played the game countless times, I could multithread easily. I could kill the guys and undress Jannicke with my eyes at the same time. Her nipples hurt my eyes. I could sink my teeth into her tush. I could taste the holy of holies. “Malty with barley sweetness, buttery toast, wood shavings, hay, and walnut. Orange zest spiciness perks up a malty core of nuts, oak and toffee, hints of cut grass. Oaky, rich with good length, some fruit lingers.” [i] Can one have an orgasm in the eye? To this day it seems unbelievable to me that I could shake it off. My brain somehow managed to beat my dick in a game of chess of immense difficulty and pointed me in the right direction.
What I saw made me come to my senses at once. Her being a Viking didn’t make any difference. The person in front of the monitor was as predictable as the sprites programmed to act as stupid monsters in the game. The only question was: “Who’s dumb and who’s dumber?” I thought if I could orchestrate a storyline of my own and have it streamed through a phone’s black screen using people’s thumb-power, I could make them do whatever the hell I wanted. Did I ever feel calm before? I felt like Siddhartha under Arasa Maram where all was revealed to him. All of a sudden, I didn’t want to go home anymore. I had a purpose for the first time in my life.
